The Wolf -Chapter VII: Visitation

VII: Visitation

1.
“Oh god, what is that stench?” Katy asked.
She had herself under Adrian’s arm, supporting his weight and helping him into the living room. His legs were barely able to hold himself up, and all over he was a mess. It was a very good thing there seemed to be a healing factor to being a werewolf, because he should have been dead.
His arms and legs were scratched and bruised and coated in dry blood, his chest a patchwork of gashes and scars. When asked if this was normal, Adrian said that it had been at one time, but that was a while ago. So he’d been fighting himself, then, she thought. That voice…that other side…fought its instincts tooth and nail, ripping apart its own body rather than hurting me.
She tried to think back to the night, and realized she had already blocked out the particulars. How quickly the human mind worked its magic.
“That’d be the chili,” Adrian said.
“Chili?” Katy looked at him incredulously. “You mean that smell that’s like death and vomit and gym socks all put together…that’s coming from food?”
“It’s the onions. You know canines get sick when they eat onions? Worse than chocolate, actually.”
After she set him on the couch, she shook her head. “What does that have to do with anything?”
He smiled and tapped his head.
Katy blinked, not comprehending, then let out a laugh. “Are you serious? Hey, if I whipped out a tennis ball, would you like freeze up and run after it when I threw it?”
Adrian rolled his eyes. “It’s a psychological thing. It helps me forget…things. Get me a bowl, would you please? I’m a little, uh…” he motioned to his beaten and bloody extremities.
Katy gagged as she walked into the kitchen. “Are you sure I don’t need to take you into the hospital? You look pretty fucked up.”
“No, I’ll be fine. Just give me a couple hours. The effects of shifting don’t wear off for a good day or so. Oh, help yourself to the chili, if you’d like.”
As she walked up to the bubbling pot, bowl in hand, she stuck her tongue out and turned to Adrian. “I think I’ll pass.” She spooned him a bowl and walked back towards the living room.
Outside, the sun was only just beginning to rise.
“So, hold on, this stuff helps you forget? These must be some powerful onions.”
“Like I said, it’s psychological. The smell, the taste…it pushes the voice back, helps me be normal. I guess.”
“Wait, hold on,” Katy said as she was about to hand him the bowl. “Isn’t that the exact opposite of what we want to happen right now?”
Adrian ran his hands through his hair.
“Are you seriously considering…” she said.
He looked up at her, his face a mess of confusion and doubt. “I’m scared.”
Katy blinked. “Of what?”
“Of…what might happen if I let the voice…” Adrian rubbed his eyes. “If I let the wolf in. What if this is just a means to an end?”
Of course it is, the wolf said. Everything is. That doesn’t mean it’s nefarious, you dolt. Maybe I just want-
“Maybe he just wants to be able to live, for once,” Katy said. “I mean, from what I understand, you’ve never given him the chance.”
The wolf chuckled with surprise and said, See? She gets it.
Again Adrian ran his hands through his hair, bending himself over. He shook his head and said, “He.”
“What?”
“You called it ‘he’. Twice. Just now.”
“So?”
“The wolf’s been a shadow in my head for as long as I can remember. It’s never been a ‘he.’ It’s just-”
“Adrian?” Katy asked.
“Huh?” he said, shaken.
She leaned forward and got nose-to-nose with him, looking him straight in the eye.
“What you’re talking about right now? That is exactly what he is complaining about. This casual interior repression,” she motioned to the bowl in her hand, “these antidotes for the working state of your mind. I have been familiar with the situation for all of, what, two days? And already I’ve got a better handle on it than you do. The wolf, despite whatever you personally have been through, is a part of you, and maybe you’re a part of him. I mean, not even giving him a gender? That’s just fucked up. This isn’t healthy for him, and I doubt it’s healthy for you.”
Adrian blinked. After a pause, he said, “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Oh yeah?” she said.
Adrian managed to pull himself up and limp into the kitchen, leaning on the counter of the island.
“This is a complicated situation, you can’t possibly understand without firsthand experience. You don’t know anything about me.”
Katy shook her head and raised her voice, “You don’t know anything about me! My sister had multiple personality disorder, did you know that?”
He turned to her. “What?”
“Yeah. Did you know my dad was a drunk and that my mom died in childbirth? My sister and I were twins. I came this close to being born crazy, you realize that? It was a fifty-fifty chance. I spent my entire childhood dealing with her constant switching, I know what happens when you repress a personality, Adrian. Don’t fucking tell me I don’t have any firsthand experience with this, my sister may not have been a werewolf but she was a damn sight crazier than you will ever be, so stop using this ‘Oh-you-don’t-understand’ bullshit to block out the fact that I am one hundred percent right. You know I am, don’t even look at me like that. You just don’t want to hear it because you don’t have the balls to face up to your own fears!”
“Jesus Christ, would you stop with that? You’re giving me a headache.”
“Motherfucker, I’ll come over there and kick your goddamn teeth in, then you can complain about a fucking headache. Shit.”
Adrian started laughing, and Katy shouted, “What?”
“You curse like a sailor when you get pissed, you know that?”
She laughed in spite of herself and sighed. By that point she had set the bowl of chili on the table, and she picked it up and carried it into the kitchen.
“Okay, yeah, I’m sorry. That was rude. But I don’t like being ignored, and that’s exactly what you’re doing.” She sat next to him. “Okay, so, what does he say?”
“Huh?”
“About the chili.”
“Oh. He hasn’t said anything since you went on your tirade.”
She nodded. “Well, ask him?”
Adrian leaned back and lifted an eyebrow. “Um…okay, sure, why not.”
He closed his eyes and concentrated, but nothing happened.
“I…really have no idea how.”
“Are you saying you’ve never talked to him?”
“I’m saying I’ve only ever really talked to him out of urgency or desperate need. It’s always been an instinctual thing, I’ve never had to actually, like…talk to him.”
I think you should toss it out the window.
“Oh, well, there he goes.”
“What’d he say?” Katy asked.
“He said to toss it out the window.”
She smiled and did just that -first with the bowl, then the entire pot. “Good riddance.”
“Except,” Adrian said, “now we are without breakfast.”
“That wasn’t breakfast,” Katy says, “that was torture. Sit your happy ass down and have yourself a chat, I’ll cook us up something.”
He moved towards the living room, then said, “Was that true about your sister, and your mom, and all of that?”
Without looking at him, she said, “Are you kidding me? I never even had a sister.”
Adrian nodded his head. Of course.

2.
As Adrian sat on the couch, Katy rummaged through the various fixings in the cabinets and drawers, tallying her resources and planning what to prepare. She had every intention of taking her time.
Adrian, meanwhile, laid his head back and stared at the ceiling. His mind was a mess of questions and doubts, and despite his lack of involvement in the transformation, he was entirely exhausted.
“I know what you want me to do,” he said to the wolf. “I know why you want me to do it. But I don’t know that I can.”
There was silence for a time, and Adrian almost gave up to continue his conversation with Katy when there came a beleaguered sigh, followed by, Is it honestly that difficult a decision?
“On the surface? No, I don’t suppose it is… but you, you’ve always been this thing…this malice at the edge of my periphery. You led me places I didn’t want to be and caused me pain and heartache. I’ve taught myself to hate you and repress you because that was the only way I could retain my humanity… Can I honestly just turn around and accept you, without consequence or forethought?”
…yes. We aren’t so different.
“What could we possibly have in common?”
We share the same body. If you die, I die. And in all likelihood, if I died, you would die, too. There is a great deal that you do not understand, Adrian. I was born here, just as you were. I was put here for a reason. Our union is not chance or luck. It was meant to be.
“No,” Adrian said, standing up. He shook his head and closed his eyes, “No, no, I can’t do this.”
“What’s wrong?” Katy asked.
“This is too weird, I can’t do this.”
Coward.
“Shut up! Just shut up and leave me alone, I can’t do this!”
Katy rushed out of the kitchen and grabbed Adrian by the shoulders.
“What is it, Adrian?”
“Talking to it, I can’t do it, I can’t just sit there and converse with it… It feels like this slithery, slimy thing is worming its way into my heart, I can’t take it!”
Your fear will be the end of you, Adrian.
Katy blinked. “What?”
“What what?” Adrian looked at her, confused.
“You just said…oh god, I think he just spoke through you Adrian.”
Adrian’s eyes narrowed in fear, and he turned away, gripping his skull. He ran into the bathroom and screamed at the mirror.
“You, you don’t want union, you don’t want freedom, you want control! You want revenge for being the lesser half! Stop pushing through me, god damn it, get back to your hole and stay there! Leave me out of it!”
You would like that, wouldn’t you? said the wolf, but he spoke no more.
Katy stood in the doorway, a wooden spoon clenched in the grip of an oven mitt.
“It’s okay,” she said. “Just calm down, get a grip on yourself. Baby steps, right?”
Adrian shook his head. “No. I can’t. I can’t do this. I can’t be this person-”
“Yes you can, Adrian, you just have to-”
The doorbell rang, and they both stopped midsentence.
“Were you expecting company?” Katy asked.
“No.”
She looked him up and down, then said, “Okay, go upstairs and try to clean yourself up, I’ll get the door. After they’re gone, we can head out and get some coffee or something and rack our heads about this whole situation.”
They stepped through the living room and Adrian limped up the stairs. Katy noted that already the open wounds were scabbed over. It was definitely a stroke of good luck on his part.
Behind the door were three silhouettes, and Katy composed herself for a moment (having set the kitchen instruments on a counter) before she opened the door.
There was a second of fear that lurched between her hand grabbing the doorknob, and turning it, that made her wish she had thought more carefully about taking charge of the situation.
Standing on the porch were two men and a woman, all of them in fairly normal clothes except the girl had a very pierced face. The shorter of the two men had shaggy hair that looked like it hadn’t been cut in at least half a year, while the other had his down to mid back, in a ponytail. This one wore sunglasses, which blocked out his eyes entirely.
They saw her and appeared confused. The taller man said, “Is this the house of Adrian Quist, by any chance?”
Katy thought about lying, but decided against it. “Yeah.”
“Who’re you?” the woman amongst them asked with a measure of apprehension in her voice. The taller man looked to her and waved her down.
He returned his attentions to Katy.
“We three are old friends of Adrian’s, after a fashion. We haven’t seen him in some time, happened to be in the neighborhood, and thought we might drop by. Is he in, by any chance?”
Again she considered saying that he was not, but she had a horrible feeling about these people, and it seemed foolish to lie. And if they were anywhere near as forceful as they appeared to be, what she said on the matter probably wouldn’t be important. If they wanted to come in, they were going to come in.
“He’s in the shower, actually. Can I take a message?”
“Oh, no, that won’t be necessary. May we come in?”
Katy thought, Fuck, but did not want to make the situation worse.
“Umm…sure, why not.”
She stepped out of the way, and the three came inside.
“Oh, I’m sorry, I’ve forgotten myself. My name is Abraham. This boy here is Dade, and that’s Evita.”
She shook each of their hands in turn. Abraham said, “Would you happen to have a name, lady?”
She smiled nervously and said, “Yeah. Katy.”
Abraham nodded and stroked his chin, almost as though he were tasting the name like a fine wine. “Katy. Katherine?”
“Just Katy.”
He nodded again. “Well Katy,” he said as she closed the front door, “would it be within my bounds to ask you how you have come to know Adrian?”
She walked past them and rubbed her temples. She motioned to the chairs and couch in the living area. “Have a seat. Um, I guess you could say I’m a friend.”
“A close friend?” Abraham asked.
Evita admired the rusty dagger on the wall and said, “Not too close, I hope.”
“I don’t think that’s any of your business,” Katy said. She was getting annoyed.
“And I, personally,” said Evita, giving her a poisonous look, “don’t think you should presume to know my business.”
Abraham held up his hands. “No, that’s entirely okay, you are absolutely correct, Katy. Evy, if you don’t mind, would you please calm yourself? We are guests in this house.”
She huffed and went back to looking at the dagger, but said nothing else.
There was silence for a bit, as none of them knew what to say. Abraham and Dade were sitting on the couch, while Katy was sitting across from them in the same chair she had been sitting in the night Adrian told her about what he was. What a gruesome mirror this is, she thought.
“This is a very nice throw rug,” Dade said with a hesitant smile. When his comment was met with only angry glances from his companions and confusion from Katy, he went back rubbing his knuckles and staring down.
“So,” Katy said, “are you guys werewolves, or what?”
All three of them looked at her, dumbstruck.
“I mean, not that it’s any of my business, or anything,” she said nervously. “I don’t care, it’s just, you know, a question. For conversation.”
I shouldn’t have asked that, she thought.
Abraham smiled wanly. “Well, that’s certainly one way to break the ice. In your assumption, my dear, you would be correct. We are of the wolf kin.”
She looked between them and said, “So, why aren’t you all fucked up? I mean, Adrian was…”
Shut up, shut up, why am I saying this?
“Adrian isn’t like us, I’d wager. Too far removed from the culture, I should think,” Abraham said.
“Did he tell you?” Dade asked. His friends looked at him angrily. “I mean, about the…being… nevermind.”
Katy shook her head, “Okay, so you, Abraham, you’re the leader, that’s obvious. Evita, you’re the pissy femme fatale. Dade here is the quiet pushed around kiddo who’s never been allowed to think or act for himself. Is that about right? You’re a pretty stereotypical group, if I do say so myself.”
“Your jokes aren’t funny,” Evita said, “and you shouldn’t be here. Tell her, brother! She’s broken the law and as much as confessed to us here and now. I should-”
“Sister, dearest,” Abraham said, “you are speaking out of turn, and I fear your tongue is miles ahead of your brain. This is neutral ground, we have no authority here.”
She scowled. “We have authority wherever our teeth cut flesh.”
“Evita!” Abraham yelled. Katy jumped in her seat at the sudden fierceness of it. “This is neither the time, nor the place.”
It amazed her to see that Evita’s face resembled that of a misbehaving pup whose master just whacked it on the nose. The canine similarities were more than passing, it seemed.
“I apologize for her rashness,” Abraham said. “You see, we’ve had something of a troubled few weeks, and we’re all a bit stressed. And Dade here, this is the first time he’s been among normal people in quite some time. Isn’t that right, Dade?”
He looked up at them, nodded, then looked back at the floor.
Abraham shrugged. “It surprises me that he should have told you about himself.”
Katy said, “Is it abnormal for someone to want to share their secrets?”
“For us?” He smiled. “Absolutely. But then I suppose that is a consequence of being raised among human trappings. No matter. A young dog can still be taught many varieties of tricks.”
“And where does that leave me?” Katy said with a measure of anger. “How do you know I’m not a werewolf? Maybe I want to learn some of this stuff too.”
Evita snorted a laugh and Abraham smiled. “You should not so blindly try at such a reuse, my dear. You smell nothing like a wolf.”
“Maybe he turned me? And I’m just…I don’t have the smell yet?”
Even Dade chuckled at this, and Evita exaggerated her laughter to the point of hysterics.
“She’s clueless!” she yelled.
Abraham shushed her, but with amusement. He looked Katy in the eye and said, “I’m afraid it doesn’t work like that, my dear. Insofar as this conversation is concerned, you can’t fool us. You’re as human as you’ve ever been, and it’s not going to change any time soon. But to answer your question, that will be matter of time in deciding. Where you are left in the near future depends on a great many things, but more likely than not you will be left-”
“In a ditch,” Evita said.
“-in your home.” He turned to Evita and opened his mouth to speak when Katy yelled.
“Hey, bitch!” Evita’s eyes narrowed, and Katy stood up. “You want to keep threatening me? See what happens. See what fucking happens, I dare you.”
Evita rose to her feet, her fingers twitching. “You’d be dead before you could even raise a fist.”
“Evita-” Abraham began.
“No!” Katy yelled. “Fuck that. Fuck all your stupid little witticisms, I think it’s about time to pick your asses up and get the hell out of this house.”
“I mean absolutely no offence, dear,” Abraham said, “but, being that you are not the master of the house, I’m afraid you don’t have the authority to make us leave.”
“Authority? Maybe I’ll come upside your head with a fucking frying pan, see what kind of authority I have then!”
Dade laughed at this, and Abraham rose to his feet as well. “I’m aware that this is a stressful situation, and that my beloved sister is not ameliorating the affair with her overzealousness,” he shot her an angry look, then looked back to Katy, “but you do not want to go about threatening either myself or my compatriots. We mean you no harm or foul, but if you push us hard enough, there will be consequences.”
“Consequences like what?” Adrian said from the foot of the stairs.
They were all surprised by his appearance and turned to look at him.
Abraham smiled. “There he is, at last, at last.”
Adrian raised an eyebrow and walked into the room. He looked at the three newcomers and said, “You folks got names?”
Abraham nodded and walked forward with his hand outstretched, “Yes, indeed, my name is Abraham, that one there is Dade, and she is Evita, and we-”
Adrian considered the hand and said, “Right, well, if you’ll excuse me, I need to have a word with Katy. Have a seat, I’ll be back in just a sec.”
He nodded at Katy and they went upstairs. Abraham appeared deflated and sat back down.
“This was a mistake,” Evita said.
“Shut up,” said Abraham.
“This is fun,” said Dade with a smile.

3.
“I thought you said you were going to get rid of them?” Adrian asked urgently.
“I was going to but…” She rubbed her head. “I dunno. Something about them, I couldn’t just turn them out. I figured, if they wanted in, I wasn’t going to be able to stop them.”
Adrian nodded. “Okay, that’s alright. I think it’s best you leave or at least hang out up here.” She looked at him angrily, but he shook his head. “I know, I’m sorry, but from what I overheard it seems like these guys are a little bit overserious. Or at least two of them are. There’s going to be a lot said as it is without you making things more complicated, and I don’t mean that in any way other than the fact that it’s just true.”
Katy said, “You don’t seem surprised by this at all.”
“I am,” he said. “I’ve just learned to roll with the punches. So…do you want to leave or stay here?”
“I’ll stay here, I guess. This has been an exhausting day. Mind if I sleep in your bed?”
“Haven’t you once already?” he said with a smile.
Katy smiled back and made her way towards the bed. Adrian called after her, and she turned.
He kissed her, then rubbed her cheek and said, “Everything is going to be okay.”
And when she looked into his eyes, she realized that it wasn’t Adrian who had kissed her.

4.
Sleep, both of you, the wolf thought to himself. In the black space, Adrian was passed out, his consciousness having given out with a little extra push from the wolf. He’d felt the others approaching, and didn’t want for Adrian to mess things up.
So with Katy in bed, he was alone, or as close to it as he was going to get. That part had been easy enough. Now the trick was to keep the wolves downstairs convinced that they were talking to Adrian.
Seemed simple enough from a distance, but the wolf knew far more things than Adrian ever could. A slip of the tongue, and everything could go under.

5.
From the bottom of the stairs, he said to his company, “What do you want?”
That was something Adrian would say, right?
Abraham stood up once more, “I think we got off on the wrong foot here, Adrian.”
“Well, you threatened to kill my girlfriend, that’s a wrong foot if I ever saw one.”
Too wordy? Not enough anger? Quit stressing it and just talk. They’ll only notice it if I make a big deal out of it!
“Girlfriend!” Evita exclaimed. “How do you mean?”
The wolf said, “My friend, who is a girl, who is also more than just a friend.”
He realized immediately that he should not have said this.
“You mean you’ve, you’ve had sex with her? You’ve kissed her and bedded her? That foul, odorous creature that sat there, just now?” She said this with a strange mix of outrage and desperation. “You have betrayed yourself and your kind, you have-”
“Evita, that’s enough now,” Abraham said.
“-you have slandered your heart to a lesser creature!” She finished this last almost on the verge of tears.
The wolf stared at her for a moment, then took a breath and looked at Abraham. “I’m sorry, did I miss something? It’s sounding a lot like she knows me.”
Abraham smiled.
“We all know you, Adrian. We’ve been watching you from afar for quite some time. Perhaps Dade here is a little out of date, but betwixt the three of us I should say we have a pretty fair idea of who you are and what you’re doing.”
“Okay. Then why are you here? If you know so much, if you’ve been stealthy about your observations all this time, why come out of the woodwork now, of all times?”
Abraham laughed and said, “How long until your twenty-sixth birthday, Adrian?”
He blinked. “A few-”
There was a sudden crack in the back of his mind, followed by words echoing out. At first they were impossible to decipher, but very quickly they cleared up, and for reasons he did not understand, they sent shivers down the wolf’s spine: Do not let them find you.
“-weeks.”
No one appeared to notice the pause in his sentence.
Abraham nodded. “It’s tradition. We watch you for ten years, see how you fare, and then we scoop you up and bring you home if you’ve passed the test.”
“Oh, okay,” he said. “I get it. You left me to die in the wilderness and crossed your fingers, is that it?”
Abraham shrugged. “We live in strange times. The weak cannot afford to be let amongst us.”
“That’s…” the wolf measured his words, “pretty fucked up.”
“But look at humanity. They’ve outgrown natural selection, and now they’re spiraling downward into self-destruction. They-”
“Will you excuse me for a minute?” The wolf’s eyes were flickering. “I’m sorry, this is a terribly interesting conversation, but I feel a headache coming on. Let me get some ibuprofen and I’ll be right back.”
He stumbled into the bathroom and gripped the sink. He had tunnel vision and felt himself being pulled backwards. Adrian was waking up, but how?
And where were those words coming from?
It occurred to the wolf that Adrian would not give him a chance to talk for himself once he regained full control, so he communicated this as best he could to his waking mind: There are three werewolves in the living room and I don’t know what they want. You can’t let them know that they weren’t talking to you for the first part of the conversation, so please, no matter what you feel about me or what I’ve done, do not freak out when you regain control. Just act natural, and don’t give them anything they can use against you. I will stay in my corner and watch from afar, I promise. Adrian, this is too important to mess up.
And then, just as the echoing words were becoming earsplitting, in the snap of a finger the wolf was back in the black space. There was vertigo, which passed almost as quickly as it came, and he sat down on his couch and closed his eyes.
And he listened, as best he could, to what Adrian said when he came out of the bathroom.

5.
Adrian stumbled away and closed the door behind him. Abraham, cut off in mid sentence, was nonplused. He sighed and looked to Dade.
“Do you know what’s going on?” he asked.
Dade only stared at the rug. He shrugged his shoulders and said, “I told you, it’s all hazy…I need sleep.”
“You’ll get sleep, my friend, I promise. I know it’s been hard, but you must maintain yourself for a little while longer.”
Evita put an arm around his shoulder. “Breathe, remember Dade. Find the strand for me, okay?”
Dade clenched his eyes and tears ran down his cheeks. “It’s fading in and out, I don’t know how long I can hold on to it before it disappears and I fall in.”
“If you fall,” Evita whispered, “I will catch you.”
Dade smiled at this sentiment, though he knew it was an impossible one; she could no more catch him from the fall into insanity than she could catch an atom in a butterfly net. But encouragement, as always, urged him on.
Carefully, Dade searched for the strand.
As he did this, Abraham said to Evita, “You. If you ever want to help me with something like this again then you need to learn to hold your tongue. And stop acting like a bitch in heat, for Luna’s sake. That time will come, you just need to have patience, sister.”
“I’m sorry, brother.”
Dade said hesitantly, “Don’t…let them…”
“What?” Evita said, leaning closer to his face, “What did you say, sweetie?”
“There are words dominating his mind…tumbling into his consciousness as though they were trapped behind a brick wall all of his life…but they are fading, I cannot get the whole of them. Don’t let them…don’t let them…”
“Don’t let them what, Dade?”
“I…” He looked at his only friend and lied without a flinch, “I don’t know.”
Abraham held back a frustrated sigh and patted his friend on the back. “It’s okay,” he said with disappointment. “It’s alright. It’s probably nothing of consequence, anyway.”
“I’m sorry, Abraham,” Dade said, feeling horrible for having failed his friend, and for having lied to him. But he had a larger grasp on things now, slipping though it was, and it had needed to be done.
Abraham said nothing to his apology.
Evita hugged him and whispered, “You did good, I’m proud of you.”
He thanked her half-heartedly, but returned to his own thoughts.
Treachery was at work, and it made him feel sick.

6.
Adrian came out of the bathroom and took in the looks of his visitors.
“Alright then, so what do you guys want?”
“To put it as simply as possible, we want to touch base with you,” said Abraham as Adrian entered the room. “We wanted you to know that we’re here. It isn’t time yet for you to come back with us, but very soon it will be. We want you to be prepared.”
“Prepared for what?” Adrian asked.
“The future,” said Dade. The others looked at him in surprise. He regarded them meekly and said no more.
“Okay then, well, I think it’s time for you to leave.”
“Why’s that?” Abraham asked.
“Do you have anything else you need to say to me?”
He smiled. “Not at this point in time. But soon, I think we’ll have a nice, quiet conversation.” He stood and the others stood with him. “Just the two of us. Let’s go.”
Adrian saw Abraham, Evita, and Dade to the front door, and locked it behind them when they left.