This One Isn't As Silly As The Last One.

Alright, so, I've been having some thoughts about what exactly I want to do with this blog, and the answer seems to be, "Everything."

So! Here is the run down. I expect that I will be posting rants of both the comical and / or serious variety more than anything. Betwixt that I will probably go on existential rants which will be flagged by a serious title so that they may be avoided like the plague. And then there will be stories posted, with the title being the title of the story followed by a Part ___ label.

That first post was pretty random, and I don't want it to be an indicator as to the nature of what goes on in my head. It's a pretty random place sometimes, but I only do the joke thing when I'm *trying* to make other people laugh. So yeah... I don't know what I'm saying.

I'm really tired, which makes absolutely no sense at all. I slept all day yesterday, came home and spent a couple hours on the computer, then slept another six. I really need to get a job or something, this whole "let's spend the rest of our lives in a room surrounded by the internet" thing just isn't working out. I'm going to go to college "eventually". I don't know exactly how that works, it's really just laziness and fearfulness on my part. The longer I wait the harder it will become. That being said, I think it's legitimate to want to spend some time with my dad beforehand, and up north in general.

So yeah, I need to get a new computer. The one I have, I love it just because I've had it for such a long time, but the thing is fucking loud. I turn off my music and there's just a loud whirring you can't escape from. Hearing too much of that in one sitting gives me a bad headache.

I've got three stories in particular cooking in my head right now. The Life of John & Clara, an as-of-yet unnamed zombie trilogy, and an as-of-yet unnamed fantasy / sci-fi idea that is meant entirely to be a blank canvas for my imagination. Just to see what I can come up with. The farthest on the horizon is definitely the zombie trilogy, since that's more of a movie thing than a literary thing. Anyone who has read my stuff knows I should stick to conversation and plot and leave the action and excitement to those who know what the fuck they're doing. I'm really itching to start the fantasy / sci-fi story just because I've had these ideas building up in my head for such a long time, but I'm determined to not write a word (except scribblings in my notebook) until John & Clara is finished. I haven't written a word in almost two weeks, because I keep finding reasons not to, but as usual it comes down to laziness. There are a handful of good excuses; I finally got a cord for my electric guitar so I've been playing that a lot, and in general I've been trying to spend more time on my acoustic in an attempt to become a slightly more legitimate player. I've also spent some time doing chores around the house. But really, there are too many hours in the day for me to just not write. I mean, I don't have a job, I'm not in school, the only productive thing I am *even* capable of doing right now is writing, and I should be doing that all the fucking time. But here I am, talking about it instead of actually doing it.

Part of the reason for that is music. It's weird, I find it hard to be on the computer without music, but at the same time it's very hard for me to write productively with music. And the aforementioned computer whir really doesn't help. For John & Clara specifically I found a song that sums it up entirely, and played a low enough volume it just works, but I don't know how long I can do that. I need to just sit down, reread, and keep going. Which I will in the very near future, as soon as I _______. See? There I am doing it again. I really need to get some discipline in my diet.

I'm also getting sick of my computer freezing up every time my iTunes goes to a new song. And just random times where I click on firefox and it's all, "oh hey, you want to do something? I'm sorry, it'll be like ten minutes." I guess it is just what happens when you use the same computer for six years running.

Hey Look! It's That Guy You Might Know, And He Has A Blog Now, Apparently!

So!

I have joined the ranks of the great unwashed opinion makers of the internet. Watch in horror as I detail in length my heartfelt thoughts about dryer lint, and the mating patterns of handicapped snails! Lo and behold as I make up ridiculous shit to make me seem boring that is actually probably more interesting than anything that I will ever write here!

It's been a long time coming. I was a whore for Xanga, I constantly chattered on Myspace, I'm only on facebook (there is no capitol F you blind suckrats) to write notes. Of course, nobody ever read any of that because a "social networking platform" doesn't require any actual information exchange. So I figured I might as well start bitching about how much my life sucks and how much I love (insert band name / move title here) on a website where people are actually *supposed* to care. Of course, given the apparent repulsive reactions my writing incites in people, no one will read this either. BUT I'M DOING IT ANYWAY BECAUSE I'M LONELY AND BORED AND HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO.

That being said, who else thought Enter the Matrix was underrated? I personally think all of the gameplay crippling glitches were an artistic expression, meant to satirize the American culture of throwaway technolo-

And that's that. Those are the only words that ever deserve to be said about Enter the Matrix ever. With the addendum that the above was a display of sarcasm, and if you liked that game you deserve to be crushed under the weight of a boulder, Giles Corey style.

That's right, I just referenced The Crucible. What are you going to do about it motherfucker?

Which makes me wonder, do you think maybe The Wicked Witch of the East was partially inspired by Giles Corey? Dude was crushed because they thought he was a witch, and he wouldn't confess. WW of the East was most definitely a witch, and she got crushed under a house.

Also, am I the only one who thought it was strange that Dorothy stole the shoes from a dead person, and everyone was totally okay with that? Even more, they broke out into song and dance afterward. What kind of fucked up hellhole is Oz anyway?

"Oh snap man, those are some seriously pimpass shoes," says a munchkin in what was once an adorably high pitched voice, now ruined by years of nicotine abuse, "I bet they would look great on you."
"Are you sure?" Dorothy asks, one eye wandering south as the other stays the course. "Isn't that kind of tasteless?"
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Smokey the Munchkin laughs in a deep, potentially transvestital voice, pulling out a nickel plated desert eagle, pointing it at the nearest happily oblivious midget in a dress and pulling the trigger.
Immediately another munchkin yells out, "I call dibs!"
"Fuck you asswhore this shit is mine!" Then he looks back at Dorothy the dumbfounded, "The point is take the fuckin shoes or I'm going to rape you."

Then followed the seven minute musical interlude Let Me Put My AIDS In Your Mouth which, unfortunately, never made it to the final version of the film. A remnant of the scene still exists in the movie, however, in the form of the scarecrow zipping up his fly. He was there from the beginning originally, but Victor Fleming decided it would be better if he was given a more tactful introduction than, "Back that Kansas-dry shit up on my cornstock."

I can already tell that this was a horrible idea and I am definitely going to hell for what has been said here.

I'd like to say this can only get better? But I know it can get much, much worse.