The Choice: Part 6

The Choice
Part 6

I had vague dreams of an awkward childhood and a painful double-life that had, until recently, been entirely secret. I felt a spire of doubt and confusion and love. That last bit, that love... it seemed to make everything else feel small and unimportant.
I woke up in darkness, feeling slightly disoriented. I looked around and wondered idly what time it was. I stretched my arms and stood. Everything was hazy, but my muscles were tingling slightly and I felt wonderful. The air I breathed into my lungs was cold and felt like a million dollars. I saw my shoes next to the fireplace, and realized Caroline must have taken them off while I was asleep.
I stumbled into the kitchen, not weak so much as disoriented, and poured myself a glass of water. It seemed like I could feel every drop of it running down my throat, and it energized me as it quenched my thirst.
Next to the sink was the bowl, now tipped upside down. Lifting it, I found it completely clean.
The floor and the counter were cleared, and I saw that the trash can was empty of any lining.
I sat at the kitchen table and regarded my hand. How many times had I looked at it through life, and now, by way of two simple cuts, it was the gateway into a completely separate state of being?
The bandages were unstained, and I realized that at some point Caroline must have changed them out, because the wax on top of my hand had been cleaned off. I was curious to see the state of my wound, but didn't want to take off the bandage without knowing where a replacement might be.
I looked around the kitchen and noted all of the signs of a suburban normalcy with a clarity that felt oddly out of place. A clock on the microwave showed in green letters: 5:39.
And then I realized that there wasn't a light on in the entire kitchen, except that clock and the light of the moon coming in from the window. But that wasn't anywhere near enough light to illuminate the otherwise pitch black kitchen, so how could I possibly see?
Amazed, I rushed into the first room I found -which turned out to be a panty- and locked myself inside. No light from anywhere, and yet I could see everything. Every box of cheerios and every bottle of pellegrino was clear as day, and I freaked out from the excitement.
“Holy crap,” I said, “I have night vision!”
I burst from the closet, eager to try it out elsewhere, only to trip over the wooden baseline in the doorjamb. I landed chest-first on the tile, and if not for the lucky placement of my hand, my head would have smacked it hard enough to give me a concussion.
I regarded my bandaged other hand and was grateful it hadn't been that one to shield my fall.
I laughed at my childlike excitement and eventually got up and closed the door. Wondering where Caroline was, I wandered back into the living room.
In a chair next to where I'd been asleep was a disregarded blanket. She'd been watching me there, possibly for hours. What time had it been when we went through with the change? Not even six, probably earlier than that. I wondered what time she had finally decided to give up the ghost and sleep in her own bed.
A thought occurred to me, and I smiled.
I crept up the stairs and around to the door. Ignoring the sign, I stepped inside.
The moon hung in the window, and it caught my gaze. My motions ceased entirely, and I was unable to do anything but gape.
The moon! Had it always been so big, so powerful? Immediately I felt a surge inside my chest, and there was a tickling in my throat. I tried to scratch it by swallowing, but it stayed. After standing there for several minutes, it faded.
I closed the door and looked at Caroline. She lay asleep on the far side of the bed, one arm out of the covers. The bandage on her hand was significantly more sloppy than the one on his. I smiled and crawled into bed next to her.
I put an arm around her waste, and set my chin at the nape of her neck. It felt right to be so close to her. Her warmth felt so comfortable. My heart raced, and soon she stirred.
She turned around and said,
“Pull up the covers, I'm getting cold.”
I did, and she kissed me on the cheek, then put an arm over my shoulder and buried her head in my chest.
I ran my hand through her hair and thought about how wonderful the world was, and then I fell back asleep.
When next I awoke, the sun was flashing in my face. I blinked and cleared the sleep from my eyes, and found Caroline changing in front of the window.
She turned around as she pulled her shirt on, and though I tried to act asleep, she saw me.
“How long have you been awake?” she said, blushing.
“I dunno,” I said. “Long enough.”
She sat back down on the bed, leaning next to me.
“So, how do you feel?” she asked.
“Pretty normal, I guess. Last night, I almost crapped myself when I realized I could see in the dark.”
She smiled.
“Other than that though, no obvious differences just yet. Everything feels really, uh...” I struggled to find the right word.
“Clear?” she suggested.
“Yes! That's it exactly. I had a cup of water last night and it was like... it felt like I was drinking the universe, you know?” She laughed, and I blushed. “Sorry, my words aren't really working right now.”
“It's okay. I know exactly what you're talking about.”
“Oh!” I said, “Speaking of water, what was that blood-water stuff supposed to do?”
“Get your body used to the energy you gain from blood,” she said. “It's important to get that out of the way right at the beginning, otherwise your body won't know where else to get it from, and might start taking it from the wrong places.”
“What do you mean?”
“You'll see,” she said. “Trust me, you'll know what I'm talking about soon enough.”
I nodded. “So, uh, blood. Is that something I'm going to have to eat...drink, all the time now? Because I thought that was a vampire thing.”
She smiled. “If I said yes, you would be so pissed off right now.”
“It's not yes, is it? I know we're hardly the picture of emotional balance, but I really don't want to go around cutting myself all the time.”
She smiled. “Even if you did, it wouldn't help. You can't gain energy from your own blood.”
“Even still,” I said, “am I going to have to go around stabbing people for sustenance?”
Caroline laughed. “No. I mean, during the full moon you will have to kill some things, but that's...” she smiled, “you don't have to worry about that, trust me.”
“But-”
“Trust me. Anyway... blood helps to calm us down, or rile us up, whichever it is we need the most. The only thing you have to worry about when it comes to blood is bloodlust. That's when you let yourself get really angry and, in the process, let your more animalistic instincts take control. You could kill somebody that way.”
“I see,” I said. “I'll keep that in mind.”
She nodded. “Now get up. We need to get some food in you.”
“What about you?” I asked. “You lost a lot of blood yourself.”
“Yeah,” she said, “but I didn't go through a complete physical, mental, and spiritual makeover overnight.”
I got up and found all my dizziness and weakness gone, and walked behind her back to the kitchen. She sat me down at the table and I watched as she cooked up a very standard breakfast.
“This feels oddly normal,” I said. “Not to mention a little old-fashioned. Woman making breakfast, guy waiting expectantly.”
“Yeah?” she said. “Well, don't get too used to it, bub. This ain't a hotel.”
She looked over her shoulder and smiled.
I rolled my eyes and looked away.
We ate together, eggs, sausage, and bacon, and the meat particularly tasted better than any I'd had in my entire life. She told me to expect that reaction from a lot of things.
After that, we sat together in silence. Oddly enough, there was very little to talk about. Eventually she said, “My parents will be home soon. I don't want to rush you off, but-”
“I understand,” I said. “Besides, I kind of want to get home anyway. Something tells me a little normality will help me gauge things.”
She nodded. “Now, if you have any questions about anything, or if you freak out or wind up in a bad situation, you call me, alright? You're not alone in this.”
“I know,” I said.
We kissed, and I left.
What became readily apparent is that the turning did not actually happen overnight. As the days wore on, I felt a number of alien sensations as my body and my mind began to change. Physically, I realized that I had greater endurance. I did not become vastly stronger or faster, but I did have a greater capacity for physical exertion. Mentally, I found my thought process becoming more fluid and more based around impulse. I started doing things more as they came to mind rather than mulling them over in silence, a fact my parents took notice of almost immediately. I was afraid the reaction would be negative, but they were in fact proud that I'd finally decided to get out and do things with my time.
The changes weren't all pleasant, though. I found myself to be hungrier than normal, with a faster metabolism. With this came an odd feeling that my choices for a meal were not limited to only include that which was dead. People, it seemed, looked just as delicious as an uncooked steak might.
In school especially this became an issue. As mine and Caroline's relationship became public, attention was drawn toward us and with that came a slew of insults and jeers. Caroline was unfazed, but it was everything I could do to keep from ripping out the throats of the jocks who thought they were being so funny. Caroline's hand was all that stayed me.
At night, I found my dreams becoming more and more unsettling. When I asked Caroline what that might be, she said that Michael had told her that because of our closeness to nature, our dreams could sometimes overlap with the flow of the world. As such, they could often be portents of the future.
After nearly a week of being a werewolf, I found the experience to be wholly worth the troubles leading up to it. A side-effect I had not expected of being a werewolf was the connection to the world around me. Everything alive seemed to breath and exist and speak in ways that human ears had long forgotten how to understand.
That comes to be the most important thing. Caroline explained to me that werewolves, more than anything else, are guardians of nature. Our hunting instincts are to kill only what is needed. Our violent tendencies, she said, are a reaction to humanity's violent acts against nature.
As a human, I would have laughed at that called her a tree-hugger. As myself, I knew she was right.
That's another thing. I quickly came to regard who I had become as who I had always been, but freed. Somehow, being different, being the same as Caroline, it made living that much easier.
She watched me very closely in those first days, for her own sake as well as mine. But she soon saw that I had been made for this, and her fears were laid to rest. I had never seen her smile until I shared with her the sensation of feel Luna's energy flow through me. It's an amazing connection we have with the moon. It's just a rock, orbiting us in space, but somehow... through us, it's more than that. By our connection to it, it is a spirit all its own. This raises questions as to where the spirit first came from, but Caroline had no clue. And, really, it didn't matter. We were in love, and moon fed us strength.
One day she took me to a place she visited often, and immediately I knew why. It had a presence all its own, and seemed brimming with energy. Against all odds, it was an outcropping of trees and bushes a couple hundred feet from the corner of two major roads, backed by an apartment complex. I felt an almost religious reverence for the place as we sat down beneath the shade of the trees.
“As far as I can tell,” she said, “there are places like these all over the world. I assume so, I mean, because I've found them everywhere I go. I don't know what they are, or what they do, but when I'm here, it's just-”
“Overwhelming,” I said.
She nodded and put her arms around me.
We laid back and watched the clouds roll by.
“This is amazing,” I said. “Is it always like this?”
Her smile faded.
“Caroline?”
“It comes and it goes,” she said. “You'll see.”
I shook my head. “No, please, tell me. I want to be prepared.”
She sighed. “I don't want to ruin your good experience.”
“It's fine,” I said. “I don't want to go on thinking it's all sunshine and rainbows if it isn't.”
Caroline smiled. “You have a funny way of putting things.” She sighed. “After about another week, you'll find yourself feeling heavy. And angry. You'll start noticing the smell of car exhaust and people sweating, and you'll just want to destroy things. It's-”
“That's in line with the cycles of the moon, isn't it? The closer in proximity to the new moon, the angrier we are, the closer to the full moon, the more agreeable. Right?”
She nodded. “More or less.”
“Hm,” I said. “Well, that makes more sense.”
“How do you mean?”
“So far it's just been so...nice. It was almost making me feel uncomfortable. There wasn't a balance to it, you know?”
“What's wrong with being happy all the time?” she asked.
“The whole point of being happy is to rise above sadness. I mean, if it were just smiles and nature love twenty-four-seven, I'd be miserable. How are you supposed to appreciate the good times if there aren't any bad ones?”
She shook her head. “I'd never thought of it that way.”
“Really?” I said.
“Yeah. I mean, the whole angry cycle is what drove Christa to the point of suicide.”
“Well, like I said, I'm not her.”
Caroline smiled. “Obviously.”
After nearly thirty minutes of watching the sky, I said, “I'm really wondering what's going to happen on the full moon. I mean, is it a full body transformation, or what?”
She grinned. “I'm not going to spoil it for you.”
“Come on!” I said.
Caroline put a hand to my chest, and I laughed. She shushed me, and the humor drained immediately when I saw the serious look on her face. She sat up and turned around. I did the same.
Three men stood between us and the sidewalk, all of them wearing trenchcoats. They had a smell all their own, and I realized that it was similar to Caroline's.
They were werwolves.
The one in the middle wore glasses, and he spoke up.
“You,” he said, “boy. You're only a few days old, aren't you.”
Caroline stood up. “I turned him,” she said.
The man in the glasses sneered. “I don't need you to tell me the obvious.”
I squinted and stood as well, putting myself a little in front of Caroline. Without thinking about it, I found myself growling.
He laughed. “Don't bare your teeth at me, pup. Not unless you want them knocked out of your skull.”
“What do you want?” Caroline said. “If this is some territorial thing, fine, we'll leave.” She eblowed me. “We don't want any trouble.”
The man in the middle dropped some of his forcefulness. “This isn't about territory, wolfess,” he said, “whatever your name may be.” He looked between the two of us. “Let me guess. He's never met a wolf besides you, and you've only met a handful yourself. If that. Am I right?”
After a few moments, she nodded.
“I thought so,” he said. “Well, there are a few things you need to know about us, pup. Feel free to listen yourself, wolfess. Those of us in charge know when one of our own comes around, and we especially know when one is born. That last part, in particular, is why we are here. Turning is very dangerous business. Under normal circumstances, there is a very rigorous set of tests one must be put through in order to be given the privilege. Your instructor, wolfess, must have left these out when he taught you.”
Panicked, she said, “He heard the call! And we've been deliberating about this for over a month. It wasn't a decision made lightly.”
“The decision to rob a bank isn't made any less likely,” he said, “but that doesn't make any less against the law.”
“How did you know her... her instructor was a male?” I asked.
The man in the glasses tilted his head. “Are you a people watcher, pup?” he asked. “I don't suggest trying to analyze my actions too much. We are not the same as the fare you've spent your life studying.”
“How did you know?” I pressed.
“Either you can't take a hint, or you place an unfortunately high amount of confidence in your own strength. Whichever the case may be, I suggest you drop the subject entirely.”
I cracked my knuckles. “Don't threaten me,” I said.
Caroline grabbed my arm. “Please, stop.”
The man in the glasses squinted. We stared each other down.
He said. “Worry not, wolfess. We're not here to hurt either you or your pup. We don't act without reason.”
“Then why are you here?” I asked.
“To touch base,” he said. “To let you know that we're here. That we're watching. And that if you make a mistake, well, expect to face the consequences.”
“Not a very friendly lot, are you?” I said.
“We don't let outsiders into our number,” he said. “And we do not take kindly to idiot pups blowing our cover and forcing us to leave what has otherwise been a very friendly home to us.”
“What?” I said. “Is that what this is all about? I'm not going to make any mistake like that. I'm a werewolf too! I don't want to make this any harder for anyone!”
“That's an easy sentiment to mime, kid,” he said, “but words mean nothing from a pup as fresh as you. If it means anything, however, consider that we are giving you the benefit of the doubt. We're not here to make your lives any harder. Merely to... give weight to any acts of unruliness you might be considering.”
My hands were trembling from anger.
“If you're so sure of yourself,” I said, “why the friends? Don't you think you can take me?”
Caroline sighed, “I'm sorry, he's just-”
Before she could finish her sentence, I was on the ground, and the wolf with the glasses had his hand around my throat.
“I could crush you like a flea if I so chose, but experience speaks that a cornered animal will do anything to survive, and strength comes fastest in numbers. I'm not here for your woman, I'm not here for you, and I'm not here take anything from either of you. So I suggest you quit while you're ahead and let bygones be bygones, otherwise you won't get the chance to learn how to suppress that damning little urge for dominance you are so possessed of at the moment.”
He let go of me and walked back towards his friends. Caroline kneeled by my side, regarding the other wolves with angry eyes.
The man pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and said, “Now, if you'll excuse me. Wolfess. Pup.” He nodded to each of us in turn, then started walking away. His friends followed suit.
Then he turned and said, “Oh, and, wolfess?”
Caroline glared.
“Michael says hello.”