The Wolf -Chapter VIII: Exposure; Part 2

12.
As Adrian dreamt of inconsequential things, the wolf prowled the edges of his domain.
He resided at the nearest center he could find, because the edges lacked distinction. Existence becomes a hazy thing when pushing across the boundaries of the black space, and the wolf did not want to lose himself in it anymore than he had to.
But all the same, he was looking for something. What, specifically? Of that much, he wasn’t sure. But he would know it when he-
“Aha,” the wolf said to himself, getting down on his knees.
Floating just above the floor was a small white crack which branched into a Y. Bright white light was streaming through, as well as the voice that had awoken Adrian and lost the wolf his chance to truly test his opponents.
And it took him only a moment to realize that it was a hidden memory, something Adrian had been forced to forget. But somehow, it was resurfacing.
This did not bode well.

13.
Adrian found himself awake, though he had thought himself asleep for a time. His dreaming had slowly turned into consciousness, and the progression had been so smooth that it was only when he opened his eyes that he realized where he was.
The bed was warm and the room was chilly, probably a benefit of the caves. Adrian curled up and pulled the blankets up around his shoulders. It was too comfortable, he didn’t want to get up, didn’t want to return to the waking world. He just wanted to sleep, for as long possible.
He felt a pleasurable tingle run down his spine, back up along his neck, over his shoulder, down his arm. Adrian turned and saw Evita laying next to him under the covers, running her hand over his body.
He pushed himself away from her and said, “What the hell are you doing?”
“Shhh,” she said. “Don’t be alarmed. I am just here, my love. I’ll not hurt you.”
She moved herself closer to him and Adrian got out of the bed. She sighed as he walked away towards his clothes, then stopped. They were in a neat folded pile on the floor, along with his shoes. He did not remember taking them off.
He turned towards Evita. “Did you…”
She smiled and pulled a sheet up to her eyes. “You have a beautiful body.”
Adrian shook his head. “Okay, could you please leave? I… There’s been a misunderstanding or something.”
“I very much doubt that,” she said. “Come, lay back down with me, I won’t bite. Unless you want me to.” She said this last with a lustful smile.
Adrian’s mouth was agape, and he found himself at a loss for words. He grabbed his clothes and started to pull them on, saying, “I’m going to go ahead and leave, this is too weird.”
As he got to the door, Evita said, “Wait!” in a soft, sad voice. “Adrian. May I be frank with you?”
Reluctantly, he turned towards her. “You haven’t been already?”
She sat up on the bed and said, “You were not raised in our world. You don’t know our customs. I apologize for my oversight in that.” She smiled. “But I assure you that there is nothing that I will ever do to you that won’t bring about the greatest pleasure you’ve ever known.”
“Okay, Evita? That’s your name, right?” She nodded. “I don’t even know you.”
“Nor I you, but from the stories my brother tells me of his observations. But the look of you is such… You are not like any wolf I have ever known. Please, come back, I will not push upon you so. The others aren’t yet awake, so there is time. Let us just talk.”
“I really am not…”
Adrian watched her stand up and drop the sheets around her feet, found her completely nude and unabashed at the fact. She walked towards him and pinned him against the door. Her tongue ran across his cheek, and then she planted a kiss on his lips.
He bore a look of total shock, and she smiled. “Do I impress?”
“I…” he stammered for a moment, looking over her body, then shook his head and pushed her away. “I have Katy. I love her. She’s my girlfriend.”
At this she gave a slight scowl and rolled her eyes, turning and walking towards a rolling chair set by a desk against the wall. She sat in the chair, turned to him, and crossed her legs.
“She is a pretty thing. But is that all you want? Would you settle for a girl?”
“I- I don’t know what you mean.”
Adrian busied himself looking at the wall, part of him wanting desperately to open the door and leave.
But another part did not want to leave at all.
“Look at me,” she said. “Do I put up any walls? Am I guarded, as she?” Evita stood and walked towards him. “We are of the kin, Adrian, my love. What love that happens between us greater than any you could ever know for a human girl.”
“She…she isn’t guarded. She’s, um, outgoing-”
Evita laughed. “She knows how to pleasure a man? I don’t doubt that. And for you, who have known only the pleasures of men, that would surely be enough. But does she know how to pleasure a wolf? I can give you that, Adrian.” She stood now not inches away from him. “That, and so much more.”
She kissed him again, and he could not bring himself to pull away for a moment. He stopped her and said, “It’s unfaithful.”
Again she laughed. “If you had planned to be faithful,” she said, “you would have walked out that door long ago.”
Evita pressed her body against his, and Adrian found his arms reaching up around her back and feeling the smoothness of her skin. His fingertips alighted and he closed his eyes as their tongues wrapped around each other and their breath mingled. He was all too aware of her breasts against his chest, and the growing pressure between them that but for a few layers of cotton and a closed zipper would very quickly lead to sex. He squeezed her as close to him as she could, pushing forward and away from the wall, wanting to be one with her. As she kissed him, he kissed her back, and the shame of it vanished as his lust overcame his sense. She pulled him onto the bed and frantically ran her hands over his body; moaning even as she undressed him, as though the promise of sex were sex itself. And Adrian watched her do all the work, laid his head back, and closed his eyes once more.
But then her hands reached under his shorts and he realized, Oh shit, this is wrong.
“Stop, stop, stop,” he said through panting breaths. “Please, I- I can’t.”
He rolled away from her and did his best to hide his near-naked body, to slow his breathing and act as though nothing had happened.
She whispered, “I understand, my love.” She put an arm around his shoulder. “I don’t mind. You’ve taken a sip from the cup of culture; soon the aftertaste of humanity will leave you and there will be no reservation.” She smiled. “It is only a matter of destiny, that we be together. I have waited this long. I can wait a little longer.”
“Can…can I please be alone?”
There was silence for a moment, and then, “Yes.” Evita kissed him on the cheek, and he flinched away from it. She stood, dressed herself (he tried not to look but was unable), and walked to the door.
“If you should need anything, I’m a few doors down.”
“I- I thought Abraham said you didn’t live here.”
“We don’t, usually. But we aren’t in the habit of leaving our guests to themselves. Sleep well, my love.”
She blew him a kiss, and left the room.
Adrian lay in the bed for a long time, just staring at the floor, trying not to think about what had just happened. Slowly, he pulled the sheets up over his head and curled into a ball. He thought about Katy, and how beautiful she was, and what a wonderful personality she had, and he thought about Evita standing fully naked before him, thought about her hand running up the base of his spine.
He wanted to scream, because he knew that things were, at this point, out of his hands. He could not stop himself from wanting to have sex with her, he could not stop himself from being attracted to her body. And what was it she had said the other day, that it was against the rules for him to be with Katy? What if that were true? Adrian found that he liked this place despite himself, and while the people were certainly unusual, it was exciting. And Abraham was so forward about his secrets!
Had he not been alone for these past three years or more? Had not his only companionship come from the occasional woman off the street? How was it that Katy was different? They had only been together for a few days, after all, and already there was more tension than Adrian had ever known in a relationship. She knew he was telling the truth about being a werewolf, but she was, after all, human. Evita knew what it was like, she could relate to him on a level that Katy never could. Between them, there would be no secrets. Amongst the kin, there would be none. He was already happy here, and been there only a short while.
But Adrian thought about Katy’s smile, and felt his heart break, because he knew he did not have the strength of will to be faithful. After all, Evita was right. If he had, he would never have let the conversation continue.
At this, Adrian fell reluctantly back asleep.

14.
The wolf put his head in his hands. He was angry and hurt, but more than anything he was disappointed.
And he didn’t dare say a word of it.

15.
The ballroom was empty, and without a population it lost a level of its flavor. Without noise, without music, it felt unusual. But it wasn’t in a bad way; it felt like a grandparent’s house, or someplace old that you rarely visited that always felt like home.
Evita served up breakfast to Adrian and Abraham; egg, cheese, and bacon omelets with biscuits and gravy. Adrian found it to be delicious and when he looked up at Evita, she smiled at him knowingly.
He could not help but to smile back.
Adrian looked around and said, “Is Dade still asleep?”
Abraham said, “I’m afraid he isn’t here. I sent him home last night, after we closed our doors. He’s never much liked sleeping down here, anyway.”
“Oh. I guess that works, then.”
“Tea?” Evita asked.
“Sure,” Adrian said. She poured him some, and he drank it. “This is a pretty nice place you have here. How’d you come across it?”
“In a local history book,” Abraham said. “It was closed down, so I purchased it with a little help from my friends, and patched it up. We actually do make some legitimate money from its functions as a bar, but more than anything it is our hub.”
“And I guess that brings us back to the whole ‘why are you here’ question,” Adrian said.
Abraham smiled at Adrian and turned his head to his sister. “Evita, would you be so kind as to part from our company for a bit? Adrian and I need to have a conversation.”
She nodded, the smile slipping from her face, and she retreated to one of the many passageways of the caves.
Assured that she was out of earshot, Abraham said, “You’ve made her quite happy, you know. Even I wasn’t expecting it to happen so fast.”
Adrian covered his eyes, “I really don’t want to talk about that, thank you very much.”
“My friend, there is no shame in it.” He spoke in an encouraging whisper, “My sister is… she knows what she wants, and that can be a difficult thing to deal with at times. But it’s the way it was meant to be. If you are feeling some…regret, about your human girl, I understand. You haven’t been here long enough to know the difference. We aren’t the same as them.”
“You keep saying that,” Adrian said. “But I’ve been living among “them” for a long time, and the differences aren’t that many.”
Abraham shook his head. “Among them, you say? What about the years in the forest, all alone? The years with the old man, and the years of isolation after he died? How many healthy relationships have you had, in all of your life?”
“I…well…” Adrian could not think of a one that hadn’t ended in flames, and already his mind was dancing towards thoughts of Evita’s naked body. He shook them away as best he could. “I’m just socially inept.”
“Hah!” Abraham laughed. “Of course you are, Adrian, you’re a damned werewolf! Socially inept. Please, Adrian, try to understand where we are here. Our kind has been living underground and outcast from human society for centuries, and to them the very idea of our existence is a joke! To live with that kind of image in your mind, not to mention the fears and doubts that are already just part of the deal… Adrian, you can find humans who love your personality, your looks, your sex, whatever it is. But they can never love you for what you are, because what you are is something only we can understand. Only a wolf can truly love a wolf.”
“I-”
“And before you start, I’m not just saying that out of some contrived sense of ritual, or a need to follow ancient and outdated guidelines. This is personal experience I’m talking about, Adrian. I have seen so many of my closest friends fall victim to their love, and I have seen them all come back from that scarred, only to find true happiness amongst our kind. I defy you to go to… erm, what was her name? Kathy? To your human girl and tell her all the things that have occurred in just the last twenty-four hours. Do that every day for the next week and see how long your love lasts. It’s just too much for them.”
“It’s… Well, her name is Katy, first of all. But I guess I see what you’re saying. I dunno. This is happening really fast.” Adrian rubbed his temple and sipped some tea.
“Adrian,” Abraham said, leaning forward, “I understand. This was always going to be a transformative journey for you, and I wish that we could have had more time to prepare. But things are as they are, I suppose, and you are here. And this is how it was always going to happen.”
Adrian shook his head. “How can you possibly know something like that?”
“Well,” Abraham said, “it’s amazing what one can find out if one does little more than ask.”
“…what the hell is that supposed to mean? You said no secrets.”
“That is…a difficult question to answer.”
Abraham looked at his plate, now empty, and stood. “Let’s go for a walk, shall we?”

16.
Abraham nodded to Billy as he and Adrian stepped out of the stairwell and into the Midnight’s normal bar.
“’Sup, boss?” he asked.
“Not a great deal, William. Morning crowd is bustling, isn’t it?”
“Yessir, folks love their booze and biscuits.”
Abraham laughed and patted Billy on the shoulder. “Aren’t you due for a shift change?”
“Feckin’ Garner ain’t got a clue how to do his job. Mingles with the riffraff, feckin’ takes drinks from the barkeep. That shithead actually got drunk las’ week, you hear that?”
“Yes, but, William, this is hardly a high maintenance job.”
Billy huffed. “Don’t give a pope-shit whether it’s high or low, a real man feckin’ does his job and does it feckin’ right, no matter what it is. That sombitch Garner come in tomorrow with ‘a scent of booze on, I swear to god I’ma beat his ass.”
“Now, William, I don’t want to have to hire another doorman. You can’t be on duty every day, it just doesn’t suit.”
“Hire a guy who knows how to guard a feckin’ door without pissin’ hisself, then we’ll talk.”
Abraham sighed and smiled. “In any case, William, would you please do me a favor and go downstairs for a bit? Help yourself to…whatever it is you’d like, I suppose. Adrian and I need to have a chat.”
Billy grumbled, but left the room.
Adrian said, “Is he always so chipper?”
“You should see him when he’s angry,” Abraham said. “Or drunk. That man has no room to talk.”
He took a seat at one of the empty tables and motioned for Adrian to sit across from him.
“Why did we have to come up here just to sit down at another table?” Adrian asked.
“Look at the other people in this place,” Abraham said. Between the six tables, three booths, and barstools, there were about twenty others. “All of them have lives. All of them have loved ones and routines and have had profound experiences. And not a one of them knows they are within thirty feet of a den of werewolves. Not that they would be particularly paranoid in that respect anyway. You know the attitude their kind have about us. Oh goodness, look at this.”
A couple walked into the diner. The boy was shaggy haired and frazzled, the girl had long brunette hair and black painted fingernails.
She saw Abraham and stopped, eyes wide, pushing the boy behind her. She tried to leave, but Abraham motioned for her to sit at the bar. She did so begrudgingly, and the boy followed.
“Who are they?” Adrian asked.
“That girl,” Abraham said in a confiding whisper, “is Christine. She’s one of us. Well, not one of us one of us, but she’s got family in good standing. Normally someone of another clan wouldn’t be allowed in a place such as this, but I…like to indulge her.”
Adrian raised an eyebrow. “And the kid?”
“I think his name is Jake. He wants to be a werewolf.”
Adrian blinked, then shook his head. “So, wait, he isn’t one already? I thought there were rules against-”
“Rules, Adrian,” Abraham said as he stood up, “are notoriously difficult to enforce. Excuse me.”
He walked over to the bar and sat between the couple. He shook hands with Jake, and they exchanged words. Then Abraham turned and talked to Christine, and though he had a smile on his face, his eyes betrayed a very vicious nature. Adrian had no desire to witness it firsthand.
As he waited for Abraham to finish his business with the couple, Adrian looked around the diner and tried to imagine the history of the place. The tables bore scars and the wallpaper was stained. The upkeep was enough to stop the place from falling apart, but rather than fix the broken pieces, they were put on display as a matter of pride. As if to say, this place has a history. Pray you don’t become part of it.
As his gaze wandered about the diner, he noticed a black car with tinted windows idling outside on the street.
Adrian’s blood went cold, and he didn’t know why.
When Abraham sat back down, Adrian snapped back to attention and immediately forgot about the car. Abraham said, “Now then, where were we?”
The couple walked out of the bar.
“What was that all about?” Adrian asked.
He shrugged. “It’s about love. Or a desperate obsession thereabouts contained.”
“I mean, what did you tell them?”
“Oh, nothing really. I said some words, but they didn’t mean anything. I thought about trying to scare off the boy, but I could tell from the look of him that he wouldn’t be taken to backing down. Honestly I just wanted to size up their seriousness first hand.”
“And?”
“And I fear it won’t be so easy to break up as I had hoped.”
There was silence then, and Adrian said hesitantly, “So…is it possible?”
“Hm?”
“To, uhm… make someone else into a… werewolf.”
Abraham smiled. “You don’t need to be so reticent with the words, Adrian. It’s the world we live in, I’m afraid. You’d better get used to it. But to answer your question… No.”
“No? Just…no?”
Abraham nodded.
“Oh. Well. Okay. That settles that then.”
“Adrian, may I ask you a question?”
“I, uh…sure.”
“Have you ever spoken with it?”
“What?”
Abraham leaned forward. “The wolf.”
Adrian took a slow breath and bit his lip. “Oh.”
“Well?”
“He…it… talks to me. I try not to talk back.”
Abraham crossed his hands. “I see.”
“So that’s…normal, then?”
“Normal as anything else is, being a werewolf.”
“Do you ever have problems with it?” Adrian asked. “I mean, like…talking to you too much, or…” Adrian’s words trailed off.
Abraham smiled and said, “Not anymore.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“Hold on to that question for a moment. How many times would you say you’ve talked to your wolf?”
“I don’t know…”
“Because you can’t count the times or because they are too few and far between?”
Adrian felt pressed, and did not feel comfortable extolling his experiences. “Too few.”
Abraham nodded again. “To answer your question, it’s a rite that has been passed down through our kind for generations. Some take it, some do not.”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s called reunification. The bringing together of the halves to form a coherent whole.”
Adrian’s pulse quickened. “So you took this rite, and you don’t hear your wolf anymore?”
“Adrian,” Abraham said, “I am it.”
Adrian gawked and said, “How is that possible?”
As Abraham opened his mouth to speak, Adrian turned his head towards the window.
“That car!” he said, momentarily diverted. “I forgot about it a second ago.”
“Don’t worry about that,” Abraham said, waving his hand impatiently. “That’s just the Circle, they’re always watching.”
“The Circle?”
“Later, Adrian, there are more important matters-”
“You said no secrets.”
Abraham sighed, and said, “The Circle of Friends, a vast organization from which we have drawn a mite of funding. They pay for our services, and they watch the results. It doesn’t concern you in the slightest, Adrian.”
“What services do you mean?”
“Adrian, by the Gods, you ask so many questions.” He sighed again and said, “Services of a mostly nondescript manner, essentially whatever is needed of us at the time. It’s none of your concern, and you will lose memory of the car as soon as you break eye contact from it.”
“How is that possible?”
“Dark magic!” Abraham said through gritted teeth, “The driver is a wyvern and the passenger is an ogre, now can we please get back to the matter at hand?”
Adrian shrunk a little in his seat. “Sorry. I’m just…freaking out a little bit over here.”
Abraham sighed and shook his head. “I know. I apologize. One becomes accustomed to being amongst a knowledged crowd, it can be difficult to confront one who is unfamiliar with our everyday life.
“You asked me how I can be my own wolf,” Abraham said. “The answer is the rite of reunification. Once performed, the wolf and the man are fused together. Of course, Adrian, as the dominant mind you will remain unchanged. The wolf will simply…become a part of you.”
Adrian shook his head. “It’s that easy, then? No catch?”
Abraham scratched his chin, “Not in the sense that you’re thinking, no. It is a necessary aspect of joining our clan. Those who don’t take the rite can’t be a part of our society, you see. They are…frenetic, doubtful. Sometimes very violent. You know this firsthand, don’t you? I’m glad that we can get this done before your wolf tries to take over. It does hurt, though. That is the only real catch.”
Adrian bit his lip again and said, “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Okay, I want to take up the rite. I want to join your society, and… I don’t want to feel like this anymore.”
Abraham stood up and walked around the table, putting a hand on Adrian’s shoulder. “You’ve made the right decision. The preparation will take about a week.”
“A week? No, I want it now!”
“Patience, Adrian. Many things need to be brought together for this to work. Until then, fight it, as you have done all your life. It will be no more a chore now than it has always been, I promise you.”
Adrian nodded, stood and followed Abraham as they went back into the caves.

17.
Adrian sat at the bar in the speakeasy, eyeing a glass of wine that had been offered to him by Abraham as a toast. After having taken a sip, Abraham rushed off to “arrange things,” leaving Adrian to his own devices.
His mind was wandering, and he felt a nervous pulse in his chest. Was this really happening? Was he finally going to get rid of the voice, and be happy?
You’re a fool, Adrian.
“What do you know,” Adrian said. “You’re nothing. You barely exist as it is, and in a week you won’t exist at all.”
You have no idea what’s going on, do you?
“Just shut up and leave me alone.”
“Who are you talking to?”
Adrian spun around, instinctually bringing his hand around for a punch. It stopped just in front of Dade’s face, and he didn’t flinch. He pushed Adrian’s fist aside and sat next to him.
Adrian mumbled an apology and said, “No one.” He then smiled and said, “This is an amazing place, isn’t it? I don’t know why, but I feel so at home here.”
Dade said, “If you say so.”
Adrian shrugged and took a sip. Dade sat down next to him, and they were quiet for a while.
“So, you’ve known him a long time, then?” Adrian asked.
Dade nodded.
Adrian took another sip. “I can’t imagine what it must be like to be close friends with such a great man.”
Dade gave a sarcastic laugh. “He’s not that great.”
Adrian turned to him, frustrated. “Why do you say that?”
“Because he’s a spider,” Dade said sadly, “weaving his web of promises, drawing in the flies like moths to a flame.”
“Yeah? If that’s the case, then why are you still hanging around?”
“Because I’m the only person in the world he calls his friend,” Dade said. “For that, he won’t let me leave.”
Adrian took another drink and shook his head. “Why would he tell me this stuff, if that were the case?”
“Because he’s using you. Same as he uses everyone. And you won’t listen to me, because no one ever does. His words are like honey…the more you drink them in, the sweeter they become.”
Adrian rolled his eyes, “You don’t have a clue how good you’ve got it here. I’ll bet you’ve lived here your whole life, never left the place, and never met someone who isn’t a werewolf. It’s an entirely different world out there. You’re just paranoid because-”
“Stop,” Dade said.
Adrian stared at him, for a moment uncomprehending of the tear that had rolled down Dade’s cheek.
“I shouldn’t have trusted you,” Dade said.
“You’re the one who brought me here,” Adrian said.
“Well,” Dade said, “it wasn’t supposed to play out like this.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“And you don’t know what you’re getting yourself into. If you had any idea what kind of person Abraham really is…”
“So he has regrets? Done things he isn’t proud of? Big fucking deal. He’s better for it.”
Dade shook his head and sighed, then got up to walk away.
But he turned and asked, “He’s offered you the rite, hasn’t he?”
“Yes,” Adrian said. “And I plan to take it. He’s going to make it happen in a week.”
Dade said, “Before that happens, just once… talk to your wolf. Find out what he knows. I hope he’s better at changing your mind than I am.”
As he walked away, Adrian turned on his barstool and shouted after him, “Yeah, whatever you say, fuckhole!” He mumbled, “God damned know-it-all…” and turned back to his drink.
But when he looked down at the wine, he did not feel as sure of himself as his words had led Dade to believe.